My God IS in fact mighty to save.
I've decided that God being mighty to save does not only mean He can save my soul and save me from my sin. God can save all things. This morning I had to trust God to save and heal my heart and some broken relationships. Even though I often feel like my feelings are too scarred and the situation has gone too far for it to ever be healed and well again. But this morning I remembered that MY God is mighty to save, and that includes MY personal hurt feelings and broken relationships.
So this morning God helped me to be brave.
And now I'm going to lean on him all the way through and this relationship will be healed.
And I'm going to pray for even more courage to fix the others.
Thank you God for making me want to be brave. And for always being mighty to save.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
My death.
This summer homework will be the death of me. I just know it. I have to keep a three part journal for each chapter of Walden which is basically just some guys ideas and thoughts. His journal I think.
But there's 17 chapters. I have 12 days. This just isn't good.
I know I get easily stressed. But this is insane.
It's called summer BREAK. Am I wrong? I've been stressing over this homework since the day it was assigned (the last day of school. So that was ruined too.) because I knew just how full my summer was, without considering the time I wanted to spend with friends. And now that I'm finally home, and still busy, I get to worry about it a hundred times more because school starts in less than two weeks.
I'm 16. I'm supposed to be enjoying life. Enjoying my summer. I've always looked forward to being 16 and having a fun summer with all my friends and freedom. But no. My childhood dreams (well just one, tiny one) are ruined.
I just wanted to put that out there. I'm not just saying this to be negative, for one I just really needed some place to vent. Because all my friends disappeared into thin air. And I don't know. So I'm really sorry if your offended by my complaining. Nothing I can really do about that.
And I just really could use a lot of prayer right now. I don't know how I'm going to get through this.
But there's 17 chapters. I have 12 days. This just isn't good.
I know I get easily stressed. But this is insane.
It's called summer BREAK. Am I wrong? I've been stressing over this homework since the day it was assigned (the last day of school. So that was ruined too.) because I knew just how full my summer was, without considering the time I wanted to spend with friends. And now that I'm finally home, and still busy, I get to worry about it a hundred times more because school starts in less than two weeks.
I'm 16. I'm supposed to be enjoying life. Enjoying my summer. I've always looked forward to being 16 and having a fun summer with all my friends and freedom. But no. My childhood dreams (well just one, tiny one) are ruined.
I just wanted to put that out there. I'm not just saying this to be negative, for one I just really needed some place to vent. Because all my friends disappeared into thin air. And I don't know. So I'm really sorry if your offended by my complaining. Nothing I can really do about that.
And I just really could use a lot of prayer right now. I don't know how I'm going to get through this.
Monday, August 2, 2010
One of my more nasty experiences.
So there were a few things that most people would consider nasty that I experienced while I was in Aguascalientes. And I thought you would be amused by some of them. So I'm just going to take one straight out of my journal word for word. And I'm putting all shame aside for a while. haha.
Just to give you some context this was the day of our big outreach event. And we had it in a tiny town and the event was on the basketball court of an elementary school. And at this point we had already been out there for awhile. Maybe an hour. And Jessica and I had just gotten done playing with some little kids while we were just waiting around.
Saturday 7.10.10
"After that (playing with the kids) we all had to pee REALLY bad. But we didn't want to go behind the school and there were no other bathrooms available at the school. So finally we convinced Andrea to drive some of us girls around town to look for a bathroom. We FINALLY, after asking like five other people, found one at a small ice cream shop. It was the NASTIEST thing I've ever peed in. It was in the back corner of this one room shop, and the two walls that formed the TINY room didn't go up all the way to the ceiling. And when I walked, i mean ducked, in I found out why. There was no other light source. So this TINSY tiny 'bathroom' was almost totally dark. It was so scary. And there were so many flies everywhere. There was only a curtain for the door, and you had to duck under a pipe to be able to sit down on this moldy looking toilet. And this toilet didn't flush. So maybe it's a good thing that it was dark. It was so gross. And there was no toilet paper, just napkins. But I'll take the napkins, it's better than nothing!
I'm amazed at people's generosity here. Even though these people didn't have much of a bathroom, they still offered it to five girls. I would think that most people would be too embarrassed by that bathroom to let even strangers use it. I just love the friendliness and hospitality of the Mexican people. And us girls learned our lesson to just use the 'bathroom' available. Because in the end, going behind the school wouldn't have been nearly as gross."
Just to give you some context this was the day of our big outreach event. And we had it in a tiny town and the event was on the basketball court of an elementary school. And at this point we had already been out there for awhile. Maybe an hour. And Jessica and I had just gotten done playing with some little kids while we were just waiting around.
Saturday 7.10.10
"After that (playing with the kids) we all had to pee REALLY bad. But we didn't want to go behind the school and there were no other bathrooms available at the school. So finally we convinced Andrea to drive some of us girls around town to look for a bathroom. We FINALLY, after asking like five other people, found one at a small ice cream shop. It was the NASTIEST thing I've ever peed in. It was in the back corner of this one room shop, and the two walls that formed the TINY room didn't go up all the way to the ceiling. And when I walked, i mean ducked, in I found out why. There was no other light source. So this TINSY tiny 'bathroom' was almost totally dark. It was so scary. And there were so many flies everywhere. There was only a curtain for the door, and you had to duck under a pipe to be able to sit down on this moldy looking toilet. And this toilet didn't flush. So maybe it's a good thing that it was dark. It was so gross. And there was no toilet paper, just napkins. But I'll take the napkins, it's better than nothing!
I'm amazed at people's generosity here. Even though these people didn't have much of a bathroom, they still offered it to five girls. I would think that most people would be too embarrassed by that bathroom to let even strangers use it. I just love the friendliness and hospitality of the Mexican people. And us girls learned our lesson to just use the 'bathroom' available. Because in the end, going behind the school wouldn't have been nearly as gross."
Friday, July 30, 2010
Love.
"DO everything out of LOVE" is just one thing I'm really going to take away from my YCEW (Youth Challenged to Expand their Worldview) trip to Aguascalientes. Everything we did and every feeling I felt and just everything about the trip can be traced back to love.
I learned a lot about love. And I'm not talking about the mushy romantic kind. And I learned most of what I did about love through my amazing team. Amazing doesn't even really cover you guys. So here's a little something for you. (:
Dear best team ever,
(Shreela, Jessica, Stevie, Melynda, Mark, Tim, David, Lucas, Jon, and Colleen)
First off. I love you guys. I love each and every one of you for more than just the fact that I spent a month with you and sharing some once in a lifetime experiences with you. You are all amazing and genuine people. And I also love you as a group, I never want to forget the community we built and that I got to be a part of.
Being with you ten wonderful people taught me so much, and filled a huge empty space in my heart. I thought I had known what it felt like to be accepted and loved as a person. But what I thought I knew was totally wrong. When I'm with you guys I feel loved and valued for who I really am. I don't have to put on faces or act like something I'm not or I don't want to be right then. And you never pushed me away. I was never once torn down, or mistreated in a way that ruined my day.
What I experienced as far as group settings go, I've always had bad luck. And I almost didn't apply for YCEW because in my mind being in a group of other people meant that I was going to get hurt and it wasn't going to be a safe environment for me personally. And oh boy was I wrong. I'm so glad I didn't let that hold me back, because my experience with you was the complete opposite.
I remember vividly May 14, 2010. I was so nervous to be with you all. Spending a weekend with ten other people and no way to get out scared me. I'm not going to lie. But I vividly remember walking in the heat across the Fred Meyer's parking lot to the van where the rest of you were standing and waiting for Shreela, Melynda, and I. I remember being so nervous to have to talk to you guys. Talking was never a god experience for me. And then everyone greeted us so warmly and it was so genuine. And I felt a ton better. And I remember going to bed that night with the weirdest feeling, I was happy and at peace. It was new, but I loved it. And I don't think I have ever laughed so much with other people than I did with you guys, even in just our first evening together.
And then we all went to Aguascalientes together. And I didn't want to be with anyone else. I can't think of any single person I would have rather been there with me and on our team than any of you. I mean that from way deep in my heart. I wouldn't trade my team for anything. You really did show me what it felt like to be 100% accepted, ALWAYS brought up rather than being torn down or just ignored. You showed me unconditional love. I am forever changed from this trip. God did the work in me, but I truly believe he did so much of it through the ten of you.
The way I think of myself is so much better. And I went from feeling like I had SO few true friends, and having over ten. You did much more than just bring me joy through laughter and killing each other in Mafia! (:
I love you guys. You're one of the best gifts I've ever received. I can see God so evidently in each one of you. And I know it was God that brought us together as a team and used us to build each other up. God is so amazing. And the last month I have thanked him daily for you. So if you guys ever need anything you have a life long friend in me, and some of you a little sister too!
With all my love,
Lyssa
I learned a lot about love. And I'm not talking about the mushy romantic kind. And I learned most of what I did about love through my amazing team. Amazing doesn't even really cover you guys. So here's a little something for you. (:
Dear best team ever,
(Shreela, Jessica, Stevie, Melynda, Mark, Tim, David, Lucas, Jon, and Colleen)
First off. I love you guys. I love each and every one of you for more than just the fact that I spent a month with you and sharing some once in a lifetime experiences with you. You are all amazing and genuine people. And I also love you as a group, I never want to forget the community we built and that I got to be a part of.
Being with you ten wonderful people taught me so much, and filled a huge empty space in my heart. I thought I had known what it felt like to be accepted and loved as a person. But what I thought I knew was totally wrong. When I'm with you guys I feel loved and valued for who I really am. I don't have to put on faces or act like something I'm not or I don't want to be right then. And you never pushed me away. I was never once torn down, or mistreated in a way that ruined my day.
What I experienced as far as group settings go, I've always had bad luck. And I almost didn't apply for YCEW because in my mind being in a group of other people meant that I was going to get hurt and it wasn't going to be a safe environment for me personally. And oh boy was I wrong. I'm so glad I didn't let that hold me back, because my experience with you was the complete opposite.
I remember vividly May 14, 2010. I was so nervous to be with you all. Spending a weekend with ten other people and no way to get out scared me. I'm not going to lie. But I vividly remember walking in the heat across the Fred Meyer's parking lot to the van where the rest of you were standing and waiting for Shreela, Melynda, and I. I remember being so nervous to have to talk to you guys. Talking was never a god experience for me. And then everyone greeted us so warmly and it was so genuine. And I felt a ton better. And I remember going to bed that night with the weirdest feeling, I was happy and at peace. It was new, but I loved it. And I don't think I have ever laughed so much with other people than I did with you guys, even in just our first evening together.
And then we all went to Aguascalientes together. And I didn't want to be with anyone else. I can't think of any single person I would have rather been there with me and on our team than any of you. I mean that from way deep in my heart. I wouldn't trade my team for anything. You really did show me what it felt like to be 100% accepted, ALWAYS brought up rather than being torn down or just ignored. You showed me unconditional love. I am forever changed from this trip. God did the work in me, but I truly believe he did so much of it through the ten of you.
The way I think of myself is so much better. And I went from feeling like I had SO few true friends, and having over ten. You did much more than just bring me joy through laughter and killing each other in Mafia! (:
I love you guys. You're one of the best gifts I've ever received. I can see God so evidently in each one of you. And I know it was God that brought us together as a team and used us to build each other up. God is so amazing. And the last month I have thanked him daily for you. So if you guys ever need anything you have a life long friend in me, and some of you a little sister too!
With all my love,
Lyssa
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
The sunrise? Well this is new
So today I'm dog sitting for my neighbors. And all I have to do really is go over there every once and a while and check on her. It's not hard, but they were leaving at 5:30 this morning, and wanted me to be there when we left. Yeah, I wasn't too happy about that, I'm not a morning person.
So i stayed for about twenty minutes after they left and then walked ALL the way home (it's just across the street. haha). But when I left the house it was about six, so the sun had risen just a few minutes before.
And before I tell you just how great it was, you need to know that I LOVE sunsets. They're so beautiful. To me, it's a picture God made JUST for me! And it gives me warm fuzzies. Each one is different and so gorgeous. They get me pretty excited, and it's pretty funny, so I've been told.
So I walked out the back gate (I'm sure I look like a creeper going in and out through the back gate all morning and the sky was just beautiful. And not just in one little part of the sky, brilliant pink and vibrant orange bled through the clouds all around me. And so I spun a couple circles in the middle of the road looking at it all. I'm sure I looked like a weirdie, but I don't really care. I loved it.
So it made getting up at an ungodly hour somewhat worth it. And I know I'm helping my neighbors, which is all good too. But I loved seeing the sunrise, I don't see them very often, cause I'm always sleeping! I wonder if they're always that beautiful in the morning... I wouldn't know (: But even if they are always just like that one, I loved it and I'm thanking God for making it just for me to see!
So i stayed for about twenty minutes after they left and then walked ALL the way home (it's just across the street. haha). But when I left the house it was about six, so the sun had risen just a few minutes before.
And before I tell you just how great it was, you need to know that I LOVE sunsets. They're so beautiful. To me, it's a picture God made JUST for me! And it gives me warm fuzzies. Each one is different and so gorgeous. They get me pretty excited, and it's pretty funny, so I've been told.
So I walked out the back gate (I'm sure I look like a creeper going in and out through the back gate all morning and the sky was just beautiful. And not just in one little part of the sky, brilliant pink and vibrant orange bled through the clouds all around me. And so I spun a couple circles in the middle of the road looking at it all. I'm sure I looked like a weirdie, but I don't really care. I loved it.
So it made getting up at an ungodly hour somewhat worth it. And I know I'm helping my neighbors, which is all good too. But I loved seeing the sunrise, I don't see them very often, cause I'm always sleeping! I wonder if they're always that beautiful in the morning... I wouldn't know (: But even if they are always just like that one, I loved it and I'm thanking God for making it just for me to see!
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