Don't call the fat girl fat.
I'm not just talking about girls, all people who struggle with their weight. It's not really something one can fully understand except through personal experience. But people go about it totally the wrong way. And it kills me.
First off. When I say don't call the fat girl fat, I mean it. People don't need other people telling them what's wrong with them, especially something that's obvious. I'm pretty sure that (well, I KNOW) that overweight people are aware of how they look. It's not a secret to them, we have to look at it all the time. WE DON'T NEED SOMEONE TO COME AND TELL US WHAT'S WRONG. We know. Overweight people aren't just blindly going about life, and you pointing out their problem isn't going to help or suddenly turn their life around or whatever you were trying to accomplish by calling the fat girl fat.
One way to think about it is if someone just came up to you and said hey, you have a nose. I'm sure you're just thinking well yeah, duh. That'd be stupid. When it's put like that though, it's just kinda like saying something to an overweight person about their weight, it's a part of them that they are well aware of. Just like something like anyone's nose. Make sense?
To be honest, it kills when someone says things like "It's because your fat." or "I see why your overweight." Sure, you may be trying to encourage them to change. But that's NOT the way to do it. And if your someone who is perpetually skinny, or simply has never had a battle with weight, we do NOT want to hear it from you. You don't understand, it's nothing against you personally, it's just you have to place to try and understand and try to be our savior.
I think for me, this is because being overweight goes much much much MUCH deeper than a physical problem. There is a deep, dark emotional part to it. And if you've never been there, you just don't know completely what I'm talking about. There needs to be some emotional understanding and encouragement for someone. And calling the fat girl fat just adds to it all.
If you think you want to help someone who has a weight problem, it's a sticky situation. And it's hard to know what to do. And there will most likely be hurt, not always because the issue was gone about wrong, it's just an emotional and touchy subject. But it's something that the person having a problem should bring up. At least through the way I see it. Unless it's a serious threat to someone to keep going the way they are, wait for the subject to be brought up, rather than trying to instigate the conversation right off. Just let it happen. You might have to be patient.
There are several different ways to tell someone they're fat. Really, sure it's something thats joked about, but it's true. And there are things that I don't think people should tell people, because it's calling the fat girl fat. Like saying "hey, I know you need to lose some weight, so I'll exercise with you." That's saying "Hey, you're fat, and I'm going to help you because you're also too weak and not motivated to do it on your own, but I am." And just don't joke about someone's weight. Cause it's still hurtful, even if you don't mean it to be, and you are really just joking.
So try being supportive. And I know several people that would love to be treated as if they weren't overweight, and treated just like everyone else. It would be a real dream come true. When someone feels safe and accepted, then who knows, they could feel ok about talking about their problem. Then some real support can happen.
See what I'm sayin? If not, I guess that's alright. Take it how it is. Or we can even talk. Whatever. Take what I said into consideration, or just drop it. Whatever.
Just do me a favor... and don't call the fat girl fat. Please and thank you.
First off. When I say don't call the fat girl fat, I mean it. People don't need other people telling them what's wrong with them, especially something that's obvious. I'm pretty sure that (well, I KNOW) that overweight people are aware of how they look. It's not a secret to them, we have to look at it all the time. WE DON'T NEED SOMEONE TO COME AND TELL US WHAT'S WRONG. We know. Overweight people aren't just blindly going about life, and you pointing out their problem isn't going to help or suddenly turn their life around or whatever you were trying to accomplish by calling the fat girl fat.
One way to think about it is if someone just came up to you and said hey, you have a nose. I'm sure you're just thinking well yeah, duh. That'd be stupid. When it's put like that though, it's just kinda like saying something to an overweight person about their weight, it's a part of them that they are well aware of. Just like something like anyone's nose. Make sense?
To be honest, it kills when someone says things like "It's because your fat." or "I see why your overweight." Sure, you may be trying to encourage them to change. But that's NOT the way to do it. And if your someone who is perpetually skinny, or simply has never had a battle with weight, we do NOT want to hear it from you. You don't understand, it's nothing against you personally, it's just you have to place to try and understand and try to be our savior.
I think for me, this is because being overweight goes much much much MUCH deeper than a physical problem. There is a deep, dark emotional part to it. And if you've never been there, you just don't know completely what I'm talking about. There needs to be some emotional understanding and encouragement for someone. And calling the fat girl fat just adds to it all.
If you think you want to help someone who has a weight problem, it's a sticky situation. And it's hard to know what to do. And there will most likely be hurt, not always because the issue was gone about wrong, it's just an emotional and touchy subject. But it's something that the person having a problem should bring up. At least through the way I see it. Unless it's a serious threat to someone to keep going the way they are, wait for the subject to be brought up, rather than trying to instigate the conversation right off. Just let it happen. You might have to be patient.
There are several different ways to tell someone they're fat. Really, sure it's something thats joked about, but it's true. And there are things that I don't think people should tell people, because it's calling the fat girl fat. Like saying "hey, I know you need to lose some weight, so I'll exercise with you." That's saying "Hey, you're fat, and I'm going to help you because you're also too weak and not motivated to do it on your own, but I am." And just don't joke about someone's weight. Cause it's still hurtful, even if you don't mean it to be, and you are really just joking.
So try being supportive. And I know several people that would love to be treated as if they weren't overweight, and treated just like everyone else. It would be a real dream come true. When someone feels safe and accepted, then who knows, they could feel ok about talking about their problem. Then some real support can happen.
See what I'm sayin? If not, I guess that's alright. Take it how it is. Or we can even talk. Whatever. Take what I said into consideration, or just drop it. Whatever.
Just do me a favor... and don't call the fat girl fat. Please and thank you.
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